The Pressure You Believe In

The man's mind- 2026.

Be 6 foot. Six Pack. 200 lbs

Get jacked. No chicken legs.

Don't go bald.

Low back pain? Mobility

Hybrid athlete. Marathon. Ultra marathon.

Make money. Lots of money. Provide.

Mortgage. Tithing. Taxes.

Save up

Buy the truck. Buy the Mom-Car.

Car breaks.

Car insurance. Life insurance. Home insurance.

Have a nice yard. Sprinklers.

Peptides. Creatine. More creatine. Protein. More protein. Testosterone. TRT. Steroids?

Pre-workout. Less pre-workout. No energy drinks. No soda. No sugar.

Ai. Claude. Chat GPT. All jobs gone in five years.

Thirst traps. Porn everywhere. Wandering eyes.

Podcasts. Audiobooks. Joe Rogan. Post on social media.

Lock in. Start a business. Exit. $50 Million. Never work again.

Real estate. S&P 500. Bitcoin. Crypto.

Don't be soft. Don't be a bitch. Wake up early. Go to be early.

No doomscroll. Track everything. Whoop. Aura. Garmin.

Optimize. Grow-up. No one is coming to save you.

Be a good husband. Date nights. Plan everything. Don't forget any dates.

I did not author this. Nor did I read it anywhere.

Rather, I heard it in this Instagram video posted by a gentleman named Hunter Clark. I figure it must be a powerful message considering Hunter's video has amassed 16 million views since it was first shared just over a week ago.

The comment section is filled with men sympathizing with Hunter over their shared plight. There are also plenty of women chiming in to let Hunter know that they have it even worse.

Seems like a social media algorithm gold mine to me.

I am sorry for any men who feel weighed down by the various societal pressures that are launched in their direction. The internet and social media have become a great tool for encouraging people to believe they are falling behind or falling short in one way or another.

In that same vein, to the ladies who happen to read this blog, I'm well aware of the many pressures you face too. My sympathy for men is in no way intended as an indication that I believe one sex or another has greater expectations to fulfill.

But to anyone, man, woman, or somewhere in between, I would tell you the same thing-

The only person who can make you feel the need to meet those expectations is YOU.

As I read through Hunter's list of things fighting for a man's attention, I see only one thing that is inevitable:

Taxes.

Beyond that, you get to decide whether you care about these things or not.

No one is going to force you to take steroids.

If you don't want the greenest lawn on the street, then don't. It's a yard, not a golf course.

Going bald is probably out of your control either way.

Now, I could certainly point to a few things that I believe are important to do. For example, high on my list as a father and a husband would be to provide. Neatly tucked under that umbrella you'll find things like making money, paying the mortgage, and purchasing insurance. But this was a burden I took upon of my own choosing; no one forced me to find a wife, have a kid, or buy a house.

Speaking of my wife- Also on my list would be to be a good husband. After all, since I love my wife, I generally want her to be happily married (generally is a risky word choice there, but I think it's accurate).

That said, my role here is not to tell you what to think or in what order you should prioritize things. There are a million voices shouting at you on the internet already trying to do that. Instead, I'm going to offer you some guidance on how to think.

I believe I can help any person eliminate or drastically reduce all of the external pressures they feel in this life. I just need them to take a quick inventory with me.

Take a look at the list above and pick out a few of the "pressures". Or maybe you have a small list of your own expectations that cloud your daily thoughts. If you're a woman reading this, pick out one of the standards in life you feel pressure to uphold.

With one of those in mind, say-

"I need to [insert expectation of your choosing here]

Then, follow that statement up with-

"Says who?"

Your answer to that question will come from one of the following groups-

• Someone you don't know.

• A loved one.

• Yourself

If your answer to "Says who?" is someone you don't know, then guess what?

Throw it away. You don't need to worry about it. You have more important things to focus on.

If your answer to "Says who?" is a loved one, we don't have to blindly adhere to their expectations, but we need to consider them-

The people closest to us in this life are almost always going to be the people who want the best for us. These are our spouses, our parents, family members, and closest friends. The people we know care about our well being and want to see us be happy.

Perhaps just as important, these people know us. They know our tendencies and our histories. Our blindspots.

And thus, when we sense a pressure from a member of this group, we need to ask "Why?":

• Why do they want us to do this?

• Why do they believe it's important?

  • Do you agree it's important?

Ultimately, we need to decide if we share their belief of what is expected or we do not. Our loved ones will rarely steer us astray, but nobody is correct in their counsel or opinions 100% of the time. If we are not in agreement of the importance of a given expecation, we can respectfully push these pressures to the side. If we are in agreement, we can shift this pressure from an externally applied pressure to an intrinsically held belief.

This leads us to the final remaining answer to "Says who?"

Yourself.

If the person applying pressure in your life is yourself, we shift our efforts from appeasing others to providing affirmation of our own identity. The stress we feel to accomodate the opinions of others is replaced by a natural desire and drive to be the human being you believe you already are. Life becomes much easier to navigate when your pursuits are already in alignment with the things you believe.

Of course, this does not eliminate pressure from your life. But that's not our goal. Much of our purpose in life stems from the understanding that either for ourselves or someone else, we need to come through. Some pressure is good. We just need to make sure we're feeling the pressure we believe in.

So ask yourself? According to you, what do you need to do?

Get bigger in the gym? Get smaller in the gym?

Make more money? Worry less about money?

Spend more time with your kids? Spend more time in your yard?

My answers might be different than yours. In fact, I hope they are.

My favorite pressure.