A Christmas Request

Have you ever been at a restaurant or a store, and you really want to complain, but the thought pops into your head:

“Don’t be a Karen!”

So you bite your tongue and say nothing, standing there in a quiet simmer, while you patiently wait to be taken care of.

If you’re unfamiliar with what it means to “Be a Karen”, just look at this person and imagine how they would interact with an entry-level employee if they were upset about something.

You get the idea.

But in defense of the “Karen”s of the world, sometimes the service is bad, and the employees simply don’t care. It’s a painful experience to offer someone money for their product or efforts and in return all you receive is indifference.

See? Now I’m the Karen. Just give me the haircut already. And let me talk to the manager!

Because I’m not done.

Remember the show, “Undercover Boss”? It was a show produced by CBS where the CEO’s of large corporations would go “undercover” as low-level employees at their companies to see what life was like for the “working man”.

The CEO’s often realized that they have a lot of “good people” working for them, many of whom were receiving insufficient wages to support their overwhelming life circumstances. Sometimes the bosses came across bad eggs in their company who were in need of additional training. Ultimately, the biggest impact for anyone involved in the show were the random few employees who happened to cross paths with the CEO while he/she underwent their mission. It’s not as though the experience regularly led to sweeping changes across the companies; mostly just a few promotions and slaps on the wrist for the lucky and unlucky few.

What I think would make for a great show would be Undercover Customer. Tell me you wouldn’t watch-

Bill Morrow, CEO of DirecTV, has to answer a call from an India-Based call center and explain to them that he does not want to have the Starz channel added to his subscription for the low cost of $12.99 a month.

Dan Schulman, CEO of Verizon, has to listen to a sales associate explain to him why the Unlimited Plan that costs $55 a month will actually be withdrawing $89 from his account on the first of every month.

Brian Snell, President of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, has to attempt to add a person to his healthcare plan during a non-enrollment period.

See, if you ask me, this would make for good TV. Or, it might be impossible to watch because of the second-hand frustration we would experience watching the train-wreck ensue.

Even if such a show did exist, I am skeptical any changes would be made. Most CEO’s and Presidents in charge of massive conglomerates are striving to earn bonuses based on earnings and growth goals. The ideas of “customer satisfaction” and “consumer experience” are only addressed when the fruit has been juiced and thrown to the side of the road. Until that point, they’re going to get every last dime out of their customers at the minimum cost to do it.

This isn’t intended to be some sort of anti-capitalist rant or cry against big business. It would be dishonest to pretend that many of these gigantic companies didn’t become the size they are without offering a product that is superior to their competition. Sure, Apple is the 11th largest company on the Forbes 2000 list and trying to get an appointment to service your laptop at one of their stores can be a nightmare:

But the world has been a different place since the iPhone came out.

So, with eyes wide open to the give and take realities of the world we live in, my “Christmas Request” is this:

As we go into this season of gift giving, let us all try our best to support companies that want to have us as customers. Whether they be big or small, let’s try to support the entities that-

• Are honest in their pricing.

  
  

• Answer phone calls with people who can actually solve our problems.

  
  

• Provide a good product AND replace/refund our purchase when the quality is not satisfactory.

I would argue that it is possible for a company to do all of these things AND make money. In fact, I might go so far as to say that in the long run, they might discover they could make even more money if they did.